To My Loving Husband,
I talk a lot about how so many aspects of our life revolve around you due to your basketball career. While where we live, what time of year we’re available for certain events, and other logistical decisions may be based on your career, if I’m honest to you and myself, so many other parts of our life revolve around me. There are so many things that you simply don’t care about (or pretend not to care about) in order to let me exercise my need for control. You let me choose as much as you possibly can. The truth is, we’re always focused on me and what I want or prefer. We’re always focused on what would make me more comfortable and less anxious and you do everything in your power to alleviate uncertainty from our lives because you know it drives me crazy. NBA training camp is a time of uncertainty. Every team is allowed a 15-man final roster and with up to 20 men on the training camp roster, there is always a possibility of cuts for those who aren’t guaranteed. Up until now, we’ve talked a lot about how I’m coping with the uncertainty, and while I appreciate you for always putting me first and always being so concerned about me, that ends today. From today forward, we’re focusing on you.
Babe, I never want you for a second to feel like my insecurities are a reflection of you. That is the furthest thing from the truth. If there’s anyone on this earth who can overcome adversity and defeat the odds to make a roster when everyone says that you won’t, I know it’s you (partially because you’ve done it before). I believe in you more than I believe in anyone else and I see how hard you work to not only be the best basketball player you can be, but also be the best man you can be. I never have and never will doubt you. My fear is never that you’re not doing your best, but only that because of politics or numbers or timing or whatever else drives these decisions that the people who need to won’t see it or won’t be able to act on it. While NBA training camp might be a trigger for my anxiety, I realize that you are under a tremendous amount of pressure. Sometimes, because you perform so well under pressure, I forget that you still feel it. To me, you’re like a superhero – always composed, always ready, and never afraid. But I never want the fact that I feel like you’re able to move mountains to make me forget to check in on you – to ask you how you’re doing and what you need in order to be your best self on the court, as well as off.
I want you to know that I have faith in you. I have faith in the man you’ve grown into, the basketball player that you’ve become, and the hard worker that you’ve always been. More importantly, I have faith in God. All summer, I prayed and prayed that God would bless you so that you would be physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared for whatever opportunity presented itself to you this season. While at the time I had no idea that opportunity would be NBA training camp, it was truly eye opening watching Him work to reunite you with old coaches, put you in the position to meet team and league personnel, and change you from the inside out. I could and still can literally see God working in your life. I have faith that whatever the outcome of training camp is, that we’re on the right path and this is all a part of God’s beautiful plan for our lives. In my Bible study this week, I read that “it’s often the little steps, those things we don’t always get the ‘why’ of, that eventually lead us to great places.” I know that that’s the truth for us as I’ve seen it play out time and time again. You’re on your way to great places, DeQuan, and I feel so blessed that you’ve chosen me to come along for the ride.
So, with NBA training camp coming to an end and preseason games officially underway, I just want you to know that I love you from the bottom of my heart. I want you to know that I trust you and see how hard you work. I want you to know that I’m here if you ever need to be less than a superhero. I want you to know that the best is yet to come. Go get ‘em, babe!